Showing Up on Time When Your Brain Works on Its Own Clock (Thanksgiving Edition)

Thanksgiving week brings warmth, connection, and, let’s be honest, a lot of logistics and stress. Coordinating travel, dishes, timing, kids, pets, and the emotional load of family gatherings can feel overwhelming for anyone. But if you have ADHD, this week can highlight something you already know too well: Your brain works on its own clock.

Time can feel slippery, stretchy, or completely invisible. You might plan to leave at noon… and somehow it’s 2:37 pm, and you’re still not dressed. Or you underestimate how long anything takes: packing a bag, roasting vegetables, driving across town, leading to stress, shame, or late arrivals that feel personal, even though they’re not.

This post is your reminder:
ADHD time blindness is not a character flaw. It’s a brain-based experience.
And with the right strategies, you can navigate Thanksgiving week with more ease, more predictability, less stress, and much more self-compassion.

Why ADHD Brains Struggle With Time (Especially During the Holidays)

ADHD affects the brain’s executive functions, including planning, actually doing the task, estimating how long a task takes, and transitions between tasks. Add holiday pressure, disrupted routines, social expectations, and sensory overwhelm, and it’s a perfect storm, one that often improves when we use a simple Power of Pause strategy to reset before reacting.

Common ADHD time challenges this week include:

• Underestimating travel or prep time
• Losing track of start times for gatherings
• Doing “just one more thing” before leaving
• Hyperfocus that makes the day disappear
• Emotional dysregulation when running behind
• Feeling judged or misunderstood by family members and friends

During the winter months, it’s common for ADHDers to feel like the days blur together. The lack of daylight cues can intensify time blindness; suddenly, it’s dark again, it feels like bedtime, and where did the day go?

Thanksgiving Week Strategies to Help You Show Up on Time

1. Reverse-engineer your arrival time

Instead of starting with “What time do I need to leave?”, start with: What time do I want to arrive?
Then work backward in mini-chunks. For example if you need to arrive somewhere at 3:00pm consider

• How long is the drive? Say, 35 min.
• Add a 20-minute buffer for parking, walking, or last-minute delays.
• Leave and extra 15 minutes to gather things.
• How long does it take to get ready, let’s say 20 minutes, but of course, this is individual to you.
  
  → So you need to start getting ready at 1:30 pm

That extra buffer protects you when life inevitably happens.

You can also create a fake leaving time, say, in this example, you tell everyone in your household, and yourself, that you need to leave by 2.30 pm, leaving a full extra 30 minutes of buffer.

2. Use “external clocks” not your internal sense of time

You can rely on:

• Timers
• Alarms
• Visual countdown apps
• A whiteboard timeline
• A big visible clock in the kitchen

Your brain will feel like you have more time than you do, and time will slip away. Trust the tools, not the feeling. Which ones do you already use or appeal to you to try?

3. Prep in “micro-tasks,” not one giant block

When reading through this, you may realize you don’t actually know how long it takes you to get ready, it might be a good idea to start timing yourself when you are not under pressure to get somewhere on time. Instead of “get ready,” break it down and use a checklist:

• Make coffee
• Brush teeth and do personal grooming
• Choose an outfit and get dressed
• Pack bag (meds, snacks, kids’ items)
• Load car
• Last-minute tasks
• Lock door

Check items off as you go. It reduces overwhelm and improves your knowledge of how long each task takes.

5. Expect transitions to take longer than you think

Transitions are executive function hurdles, let’s build in more buffer time to reduce stress and make things easier, for example;

• 5-10 extra minutes between tasks
• A buffer before leaving
• A “wind-down” step before starting something new
• What else?

When your brain has space to shift gears, without pressure, you will move faster overall.

6. Use body doubling (even virtually)

If you’re hosting or cooking, use a body double to help with accountability, here are some ideas:

• Focusmate, a virtual co-working platform where you join live video sessions with someone else (a “focus partner”) in order to stay on task and reduce procrastination. You can use this for whatever you need to get done, write a paper, clean the bathrooms, or prep for dinner, its up to you.
• A friend on FaceTime can provide the same accountability as long as they can help you stay focused on your task; this isn’t the time for a catch-up.
• Perhaps a partner checking in periodically. How is it going? What do you need from me?

This external structure provides accountability and leads to smoother productivity and timing.

7. Give yourself credit for the effort-not just the punctuality

Even if you arrive a few minutes late, remind yourself: You showed up. You tried. You planned. You cared.
And that counts for alot!

If Family Dynamics Make Time Harder…

This week often comes with emotional baggage, old expectations, misunderstandings, or pressure that can trigger old patterns, which is exactly where mindful decision-making can help protect your energy and boundaries. Remember;

• Setting boundaries is a must.
• It’s OK to say, “We may run a little late.”
• You don’t need to justify ADHD to anyone
• You get to choose ease over perfection; you don’t have to do it all.

Give yourself the gift of grace this holiday season.

A Gentle Reframe for Thanksgiving

Instead of aiming for “perfectly on time,” try:

“I’m going to support my brain and my well-being, so I can arrive as present as possible and enjoy the time.”

Need Support Navigating ADHD During the Holidays?

If this week feels overwhelming or familiar patterns keep repeating, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to manage it alone. I help women with ADHD create systems, self-trust, and strategies that actually work for their brains, especially during busy seasons like this one.

Learn more or book a free consultation here