You Don’t Need Momentum – You Need a Pause

There’s a lot of noise this time of year about getting ready to start again, about making big changes in the new year.

But it can be hard to switch from the holiday season, and the stress that often comes with it, straight into pushing for change. Especially if you’re feeling tired, foggy, or simply not ready to move forward, there is nothing wrong with you at all.

Perhaps you’re not failing to meet the moment, perhaps you just can’t or don’t want to conform to the expected “New Year, New You” timeline.

This is what gentle change for ADHD often looks like: slowing down before moving forward.

When Insight Comes Faster Than Integration

Much of the advice about change assumes that once you understand something, the next step is action; more hustle.

For many ADHD brains, what’s needed right now isn’t momentum, it’s processing time, a kind of gentle contemplation where ideas settle and make sense.

For many people with ADHD, insight comes quickly, but integration takes time. Your brain may need space to sort, connect, and get used to an idea before it’s ready to move forward. That doesn’t mean you’re stuck or procrastinating. It means your nervous system is doing important background work.

Processing time is when your brain:

• Connects new ideas to lived experience
• Figures out what feels safe, realistic, or overwhelming
• Tests change internally before trying it externally

This kind of processing often looks quiet from the outside. There’s no checklist being crossed off, no visible productivity. And because it doesn’t look like action, it’s easy to mislabel it as avoidance or laziness.

But it isn’t!

Why Pausing Can Feel Uncomfortable

Many ADHDers have learned that slowing down is bad. Pauses have been associated with falling behind, losing motivation, or missing opportunities to act, often accompanied by shame about not meeting expectations set by someone else on your behalf.

So when your energy naturally dips or your focus turns inward, self-criticism often follows:

• I should be doing more.
• I need to push through this.
• If I stop now, I’ll never start again.

But pushing isn’t always productive. In fact, forced momentum often leads to nervous system overload, burnout, resentment, or all-or-nothing cycles that make change even harder to sustain.

What looks like a pause may actually be your nervous system creating space so that change doesn’t feel like yet another demand.

Reframing the Pause

For ADHD brains, a pause is often a sign of regulation, not avoidance. When you allow yourself to slow down:

• Your nervous system settles
• Your capacity becomes clearer
• You’re more likely to choose changes that actually fit your life

Gentle change for ADHD doesn’t begin with pressure. It begins with safety.

For ADHD brains, change doesn’t begin with pressure.
It begins when the nervous system feels safe enough to move.

A Gentle Practice for This Week

Instead of asking yourself what you should be doing next, try this:

Once a day, notice one thing you already do that supports you, even in a small way. Perhaps it might be:

• Making your coffee the same way each morning
• Taking a deep breath before responding to someone
• Sitting down for a few minutes when your body asks for rest

There’s no pressure to record it, improve it, or make it different. Just notice what’s already working.

This isn’t about building a habit yet. It’s about recognizing that you’re already responding to your needs more than you think.

This pause isn’t a stopping point, it’s a transition.

Looking Ahead – a Gentle Habit-Forming series.

In the coming weeks, we’ll explore gentle habit forming in a way that works with ADHD brains, not against them. No big overhauls. No pressure to be consistent. Just small, supportive shifts that grow from safety, not force.

We’ll focus on:

• Starting smaller than you think you need to
• Making habits feel supportive rather than demanding
• Working with your energy instead of forcing discipline

You don’t need to arrive in the new year energized, organized, or “ready.” You can arrive exactly as you are.

If you’re noticing that change feels heavy or overwhelming right now, you don’t have to navigate that alone.

I work with women with ADHD who want change to feel kinder, more sustainable, and more aligned with their nervous systems. If this post resonated, you’re welcome to reach out and start a conversation.