The Fair Play System: A Game Changer for Parents (Especially if You Have ADHD)

Are you carrying the mental load for your entire household?

Do you find yourself remembering every appointment, meal, permission slip, and sock size-while also trying to hold down a job, be a good partner, and maybe even have five minutes to yourself?If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And if you’re a parent with ADHD, this invisible labor can feel like an overwhelming mountain you’re supposed to climb every day… without shoes.

That’s where the Fair Play system comes in.

What is the Fair Play System?

Fair Play is a framework created by Eve Rodsky, author of the book Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live). The system was designed to help couples more equitably divide the mental and physical labor of running a home and family.

It’s essentially a card game-with each card representing a household task, like meal planning, dentist appointments, or organizing birthdays. But more than just divvying up chores, the Fair Play system focuses on:

• Ownership (who’s responsible),
• Time-value parity (everyone’s time is equally valuable),
• and CPE: Conception, Planning, and Execution.

Why Fair Play Works Well for Parents with ADHD

Parents with ADHD often struggle with executive function-things like planning ahead, remembering details, switching between tasks, and managing time. Fair Play helps reduce this friction by:

✅ Externalizing the load
Instead of keeping everything in your head (which can be exhausting and unreliable), the Fair Play system gets it out in the open, with tangible cards and clear agreements.

✅ Avoiding task overlap and resentment
Each partner holds responsibility for the full CPE of a task-meaning you don’t just “pick up the groceries,” you also planned the meals and made the list. This clarity reduces frustration and confusion.

✅ Creating structure and predictability
When you know which tasks are yours and what “done” looks like, it’s easier to build routines and avoid last-minute chaos.

✅ Supporting collaboration and communication
Conversations about the cards create space to talk openly (and calmly) about what’s working, what isn’t, and what feels fair-without blame.

How It Helps All Parents (ADHD or Not)

Even if you don’t have ADHD, the Fair Play system can:

• Help redistribute invisible labor (often carried by women)
• Reduce decision fatigue and nagging
• Encourage respect for each other’s time and energy
• Allow space for personal passions and rest

It’s especially helpful during major transitions-like adding a new baby, going back to work, or managing a health challenge-because it gives you a shared language and toolkit.

Real Talk: It’s Not About 50/50

Fair Play isn’t about splitting tasks exactly in half. It’s about building an ecosystem that feels fair to both partners. That might mean one of you takes on more weekday parenting while the other handles weekend logistics, or one manages health-related tasks while the other takes charge of finances.

The key is intentionality, visibility, and mutual respect.

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Getting Started with Fair Play

Here’s how to try it:

1. Read the book (Fair Play by Eve Rodsky) or check out the Fair Play documentary.
2. Download the card deck from the Fair Play website or buy a physical copy.
3. Set up a time to talk with your partner-when you’re both calm and not in the middle of a crisis.
4. Sort the cards together into three piles: tasks you do, tasks they do, and tasks you both assume the other is doing.
5. Redistribute with clarity, ownership, and agreements on what “done right” looks like.

A Tool, Not a Cure-All

Fair Play won’t solve every challenge, but for many families-including those navigating ADHD-it can be a powerful way to reduce burnout, increase connection, and bring more equity into everyday life.

It’s a system that says: you don’t have to do it all, and you’re not the only one keeping it together.

And that alone can be a game changer.

Want to explore how to use systems like Fair Play to support your ADHD family life? Book a discovery call or check out my coaching services; I help women and couples design lives that actually work with their brains, not against them.

✨ Want to explore the Mental Load more? Read The Invisible Load: ADHD, Executive Function, and the Impact on Parenting and Relationships.