The Soft Start: Why Tiny Habits Work Best for ADHD Brains

The day after Christmas Day, which, as a family of Brits living in Seattle, we still celebrate as Boxing Day, always brings me a sense of relief.

Especially when my girls were younger, I would wake up feeling relaxed for the first time in weeks.

• No more planning.
• No more gift buying.
• No more squeezing in one more thing.
• No more pressure to make the holidays perfect.

Ahhh.

And then New Year’s looms.

Suddenly, there’s an expectation that by some miracle, January 1st will deliver a brand-new version of you. Big goals. Big changes. Fresh starts.

That’s a lot of pressure.

If you have ADHD, with winter still in full force and no real recovery time after the holidays, there often isn’t much left in the tank for motivation or change.

So what if we tried something different?

What if these last few days of the year, and the first days of settling back into work, family, or school routines, were treated as a soft landing, not a launchpad?

No pushing.
No forcing.
Just easing back in.

Why Tiny Habits Work Better Than Resolutions

Traditional New Year’s resolutions often lead to overwhelm, and when our brains are overwhelmed, we shut down.

That’s not a great environment for building new habits, or letting go of old ones.

Instead, tiny habits help us sidestep the need for motivation and perfectionism, an approach supported by behavior scientist BJ Fogg, whose Tiny Habits research shows that lasting change comes from making behaviors feel easy, not demanding.

The question isn’t: What should I do?
It’s: What is the smallest step I could take right now?

For example, maybe you want to exercise more.

Instead of imagining a week filled with hour-long workouts, what if you started very small? And I mean really small.

Without pressure to perform or hit an unattainable goal, your nervous system stays regulated. And when your nervous system feels safe, it’s easier to find flow.

Examples of “Tiny Habits”

Think about how easy it would be to add one of these into your day, compared to completely rearranging your routine.

Starting is the first step. And starting can be gentle.

• 1 minute of movement
• One mindful breath before checking your phone
• One sip of water before morning coffee
• One sentence written instead of 20 minutes of journaling

If your brain tells you, “That’s not enough,” take a pause.

That voice is old conditioning, not truth.

Give yourself permission to soften the expectation that you always must do more.

Your ADHD Brain Loves Ease

Your brain is not motivated by how big an action is.
It’s motivated by whether the action feels doable, safe, and repeatable.

Dopamine, the chemical involved in motivation, reward, and follow-through,  is often called the “reward” neurotransmitter. But for ADHD brains, dopamine is less about payoff and more about momentum.

Dopamine responds to:

• completion
• predictability
• success without overwhelm

Not intensity.
Not ambition.
Not willpower.

When a habit is small enough that your brain says, “I can do that,” you get a tiny dopamine hit from finishing. When that happens again, and again, your nervous system relaxes.

Your brain learns:
This is safe.
This is possible.
I can trust myself here.

Big habits often interrupt this process.

They require:

• sustained attention
• delayed reward
• high executive function

For an ADHD nervous system, that can feel like pressure or threat. When the brain senses threat, it doesn’t release dopamine; it shifts into protection mode. That’s when procrastination, avoidance, or shutdown show up.

Ease changes the dynamic.

Over time, tiny successes stack up. And those small wins build something far more powerful than motivation: self-trust.

That’s why consistency matters more than size, and why a habit that feels “too small to matter” is often the one that matters most. This idea echoes what habit research has shown more broadly: consistency matters more than intensity, a principle also explored in James Clear’s work on habit formation.

A Gentle Practice for This Week

This week, choose one tiny habit.

Just one.

Something that takes 1 minute or less.

To make it even easier, attach it to something you already do:

• a short stretch before or after brushing your teeth
• one deep breath when you buckle your seatbelt
• a sip of water before your first coffee

If you remember once, that counts.
If you forget, nothing is broken.

What Comes Next

This gentle reset is a building-block series.

Week One isn’t about changing your life; it’s about creating safety. When habits feel small and doable, your brain learns that change doesn’t equal pressure or failure.

In Week Two, we’ll shift from habits to something even more foundational: your nervous system.

Real, lasting change doesn’t come from pushing harder. It comes from working with your nervous system instead of against it. We’ll explore why dysregulation makes consistency feel impossible, how ADHD and stress keep the body stuck in survival mode, and simple ways to begin a true nervous system reset that supports focus, energy, and follow-through.

This week is about ease. Next week is about regulation.
And together, they create the conditions for real change; gently, sustainably, and at your pace.

Read the full Gentle Reset Series here.